Have you ever tried meditation? Whether you practice every day, or you're not quite sure what mindfulness actually is, World Meditation Day is the perfect time to give a guided meditation a go. During a time when everyone is under added stress, these exercises in 'Letting Go', extracted from Camilla Sacre Dallerup's latest book It's Not You, It's Me, will be helpful to everyone.
Let it go!
So once you’ve accepted that you need to look to yourself rather than the person or situation that is causing you difficulty, what tools are available to you? First let’s look at the habit we all have of letting things fester and then I’ll show you two really effective exercises – the Letting Go Meditation and the Cutting the Cord Visualization.
“Love me or hate me, both are in my favour. If you love me, I’ll always be in your heart. If you hate me, I’ll always be in your mind.” This quote by Shakespeare is so poignant. It really describes perfectly how the things we give attention to fester in our minds. I’m a huge believer that energy follows thought or as James Redfield – author of, in my opinion, the life-changing book The Celestine Prophecy – would say, “Where attention goes, energy flows: Where intention goes, energy flows.”
When we are frustrated or angry with something or someone, it’s easy to go over the issue and keep replaying it in our minds and discuss it with everyone we come into contact with – this means you spend even more of your precious energy on it. What happens in situations like this is that you are actually the one carrying yesterday into today. Even if someone was in the wrong and hurt you, in this moment you are the one carrying it forwards and hurting yourself by stewing on it. After endless reading over the years, I have come to believe these negative thoughts are like poison to the body. They ignite the body’s fight or flight mode and cortisol, which is the biggest stress hormone. Bestselling author Dr Lissa Rankin believes that by “changing your thoughts you can change your health”. Imagine the effect on our health of re-running a negative situation over and over again. You will cause unnecessary harm to your body.
Once we have accepted a situation for what it is, what has happened and our own mistakes or shortcomings, we are ready to reframe and let go of any negative feelings and emotions that may be lingering. I have recorded a special meditation for you (below) to visualize letting go of whatever has come forward so far that is blocking you in moving forward.
Cutting off energetically as described in the visualization (below) means that even if you still have to spend time with someone or stay in a particular situation, it will no longer drain you of energy. You are now in control and choosing to reframe in a more positive way to suit you. I remember the first time the Life Coach I was working with introduced me to this cord-cutting visualization – it was after a break-up and I felt an immense relief. Now I use it whenever I want to bring my energy back to me and it has helped me become even more aware of relationships and situations that drain me.
YOUR TOOLBOX: LETTING GO MEDITATION
The guided meditation is ready for you at www.zenme.tv/mindtools.
- Get comfortable and get ready to go on a guided journey.
- Tune into your breath and let yourself relax a little deeper with each out-breath.
- Imagine you are floating on a wooden raft down a gently flowing river.
- Become aware of how the scenery is changing around you as you float, maybe the colors, the people, nature.
- First imagine the situation, feelings and emotions you are letting go of surrounding you – maybe even notice how that feels.
- Then imagine as you choose to let them go – float away and leave them in the past. You might just leave them where they were as you float away or imagine them being cleansed in the water beneath you. The surroundings start to change and perhaps you are now feeling lighter from having let them go.
- Now you are surrounded by your ideal situation – how you would like to feel each day when you wake up, how you imagine yourself in situations and relationships where everything is flowing for you.
- Allow yourself to float along the river for as long as you need to explore the different surroundings, enjoying this visual reframe and come back and open your eyes when you are ready.
YOUR TOOLBOX: CUTTING THE CORD VISUALIZATION
Sometimes people really affect us energetically – it’s that feeling when you just can’t get them out of your head. Some believe it may be to do with a connection on a soul level, being soulmates, or a connection from a previous life. Whichever it is, it’s a connection that runs deeper than usual and can really shake us up energetically. However deeply your energy has been affected, you can use this exercise at any time you feel drained by someone and want to bring your focus back to you.
1. Sit somewhere where you won’t get disturbed where you can just relax, perhaps putting on a relaxing tune.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Spend a few minutes just observing your breath and allowing your body to relax.
4. Then bring to mind an image or feeling of the person you are having a relationship issue with.
5. Imagine that person standing in front of you and that there is an energetic cord between you. Notice where in the body it’s connected to you and to them.
6. Then imagine your hand doing a karate chop or literally do it with your hand in front of your body.
7. Imagine the cord is cut now and the end nearest you flows back to you and goes within to close that gap and the other parts flow back to the other person, both returning to your own energy, regaining your inner power.
Extracted from It's Not You, It's Me, How to Heal your Relationship with Yourself and Others by Camilla Sacre Dallerup published by Watkins Publishing, 2019.